hey, supz? i know i aint been here in a while, but i got a new xanga. check it: lbabyxphat

[.mood.] jocelyn enriquez "do you miss me?"

"all the love in the world, and i'm lonely without you..."

soo much has happnd. but i'll put things in a nutshell. florida was way too freakin awesome. i wanna go back. formed a group for international colors. it's full of bootiful flip ladiez. it's me, lily mae, amanda, jenna, and erin. it's gonna be bangin. watch it, aiightz?

[.mood.] linkin park "somewhere i belong"

"just stuck, hollow and alone...and the fault is my own, and the fault is my own...i wanna heal, i wanna feel what i thought was never real...i wanna let go of the pain i've felt so long...i wanna heal, i wanna feel like i'm close to something real...i wanna find something i've wanted all along...somewhere i belong..."

today was one of those days where i really felt like i had nobody. nobody. and when i was most unhappy, all i wanted to do was turn to you so that you could possibly make me happy. but this is the first time i ever felt that you werent there for me. thanks anyway. i love you, and no matter what, i'm here for you. bitter as it may seem, but i think i'd just laugh or not respond if you ever say to me now that you're always there for me too. so good night and sweet dreams to you. at least one of us will. but i sure as hell know that it wont be me knowing all the things that i know.

[.mood.] feivel from an american tail "somewhere out there"

"and even though i know how very far apart we are...it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star...and when the night wind starts to sing its lonesome lullaby...it helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky..."

missin my baby soo much. here's the update on my weekend:

friday
worked and then james justin and i went to mercer county college to watch this show thingie. it was cool, some people read poetry, others sang or played instruments or both. there was this one guy that was just really angry. he read a love poem and it was really bitter sounding. then he finished it off with a poem called "God doesnt love you". hm...i didnt like that one very much. and there were other good ones too. i just dont really remember them all.

saturday
maaaddd creepy guy came to my register. he was about 50 and was wearing a pimp-wannabe faux fur coat. he came up to me all bug-eyed and was like "i want you...i need you...i love you...what's your nationality?" ewwwwwwww.....after work, james, jus jus and i went to ameicana diner and ate. jus jus's future girlie just happened to go there when we were there, so james and i were teasing him the whole time. we took that as a sign. then the song "angel" by amanda perez played, which was sign #2. sign #3 that we were expecting didnt happen. but who's to say it wont happen in the future?

sunday
didnt go to church with sunny today cuz she went to cornell to visit her bro. hope she had fun. james and i went to cherry hill mall and just walked around. i didnt find what i was looking for at all but that's okie. then we stopped by a gas station and the guy pumpin the gas was lookin at me with a goofy smile on his face. james got mad heated and kept wishing that he would step in front of our truck just so he could run him over. we went to his church and i learned:

* school was built for girls, not boys
* UNESCO is one of the biggest anti-American organizations

[.mood.] daniel bedingfield "if you're not the one"

"i dont know why you're so far away...but i know that this much is true...i hope that you are the one that i share my life with...and i wish that you could be the one i die with...and i pray that you're the one i build my home with...i hope i love you all my life...and though i cant be with you tonight, know my heart is by your side..."

dont think im weird or anything, plz...lolz...my friend sent me your xanga cuz i'm such a baby phat freak, and she wanted me to see the new bp cellie, aiightz? ::muah:: peace outz ma

this was my comment on this girl's xanga. my friend gave me her site and somehow, she found out and made a comment on mine. so i wrote this as a comment back to her. and look what that b*tch wrote back:

that was your comment to me. you did get my site from jay. and i'm not your friend's ex. i don't even know you. stop making up bullshit.

yo, tell me something: where in my comment to her did i say anything about her being my friend's ex? this little b*tch better get her facts straight before she starts cursin at me. for realz. i dont even know her, and for realz, she better back the f*ck up or else there's gonna be a real problem.

on a lighter note, life is good. hm...let's see:

saturday
james and i were supposed to go see cradle to the grave, but he cancelled on me saying that he had to spend time with family. i was a bit disappointed, but i understood. then him and his lil bro john showed up, and us four (including jus jus) went to see the movie. that movie is soo hot! ahh!

sunday
went to church with sunny. afterwards, i got ready cuz james and i were supposed to go to ota-ya restaurant. thing is, when he arrived, he announced that he didnt have $$$, and sadly, neithe did i. but i borrowed $20 from my gramma and we each had $5, so we were set. we had cali rolls and spicy tuna rolls. you shoulda seen my baby's face when he tasted the spicy tuna roll. he looked like he was in heaven.

and then nothing really happened the past couple of days. except tuesday. i bought these all white phat farm high top sneaks. i was gonna get em for $65, but i decided to check out all the shoe stores one more time just to see if i could find em for cheaper. when i found em for $55, i bought em up. simple as that. check em out: